Comments on: Bonds of Silver, Bonds of Gold 02: Adjustment (Part 1)

By: Lyndz

Lyndz — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 12:24:18 +0000

Again wonderfully done. The description of the room could have been a mite better I think, but overall pleased with this. Looking forwards to more.

And if you ever want to know who I am, the name Lyndz goes with TherianWriter on FA. Feel free to stop by as I am also a writer.

By: Kristina Tracer

Kristina Tracer — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 05:50:58 +0000

I hope for more continued development in the future. =n.n=

The “hinds” in this case are hindpaws; I did reread it and they’re supposed to be where she’s kicking him, but that may not be real clear from the text. I’ll see if I can’t clear that up in the edit phase.

By: momentrabbit

momentrabbit — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 04:08:35 +0000

Not entirely unexpected developments, but well told.
Psst: ‘hind’ has replaced ‘hand’ at least twice. n.n

By: Kristina Tracer

Kristina Tracer — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 20:48:35 +0000

You’ve just hit upon one of the biggest challenges. I have a lot of backstory for this setting… more than I can cover in the pages of this particular novel. More than may actually ever be written. Unfortunately, none of it is directly relevant to the events that occur in this particular tale. If you’d like, I’ll be glad to discuss with you the history of the world and how it came to be this way.

By: cobaltie.livejournal.com/

cobaltie.livejournal.com/ — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 19:50:35 +0000

I get from this scene a sense of ritual, it’s the thing that every one (or at least every slave) has to go through to learn how to behave (illustrated well by the lynx who knows better). It’s like the drill sergeant using intimidation and hardened tactics to break down the individual’s will so that the platoon will work better as a group…and take orders without questioning. Sure, the sergeant might not like the process any more than the new recruits, and he’s been through it before, but it’s a proven ritual that provides the desired result.

Granted, in that example I question the need for individual-destroying groupthink, and the need for militaries in general, but then I also somewhat question the need for the slavers guild to exist in this world. I think it’s more the idea that someone must serve, so they might as well be taught properly…and it also seems to be a commercial thing. What I’m actually curious about is the rest of the slave’s stories too. Not all of them could be volunteers like Stannis was, I assume?

By: Kristina Tracer

Kristina Tracer — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 17:38:19 +0000

To be sure, there are issues, but I can’t imagine they’re necessarily any worse than those of, say, the Athenians or the early Colonials.

By: Channing

Channing — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 11:35:42 +0000

There is something terribly wrong with this society. Not that it has the lockdown on that, mind you.